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There's a sharpness and sophistication, a different level of intelligence one can tap into.'Which is not to say there haven't been lapses in taste among her British applicants. ' Kailen winces, 'you would not believe the photos we've had - boobs out, pouting, selfies taken in the bathroom.'Many of the profiles emailed in have also been dull as ditchwater. If you were 35 or 36..44 is not fair to him baby-wise.'By way of consolation, Kailen does have some eligible bachelors of my vintage up her sleeve, and advises: 'Learn from past relationships, good and bad.
Think the standard internet dating fare: 'I work, keep fit, see friends, go out, stay in, and like curling up on the sofa with a glass of red wine.' I score highly for poached eggs and sounding like 'a student of life'. She sighs: 'If you weren't 44, I'd say: "Oh my Lord, I LOVE her." If you'd told me you were 34, I'd say you and this man would like each other, have fabulous conversations, and get on really well. Make values, integrity, character, family and friends the highest on your list of must-haves.
I look forward to sharing Britain's National Portrait Gallery, Naples and ancient Troy with my beloved.
On, then, to my first, fateful matchmaker encounter, conducted via Skype.
Our hero is an 'old soul', longing for happiness after a turbulent past, hunting for a woman to love him for who he is: a man who loves the outdoors and yearns to start a family - who also, thanks to family money, just happens to be rich as Croesus.
Kailen, the woman with our future in her hands, is a boho beauty with glinting green eyes and, she says, an ability to sniff out a gold-digger at a hundred paces. Learning that Kailen is about to interview her first shortlist of 60 applicants - drawn from a longlist of 600 - I elbow my way to the head of the queue. The description of the millionaire on Kailen's site says he is: 'A mid-30s, gentle spirited man from one of the world's most prominent aristocratic families, sophisticated and well-mannered with a passion for adventure.'It continues: 'He enjoys everything from snowboarding in Japan to free diving in the ocean, deep-sea fishing to ranching in the mountains.
A kind, sensitive, compassionate, gentlemanly 34-year-old cowboy, complete with rugged, rock star looks, and a new puppy, is looking for love in Great Britain.What makes him truly special is he's as comfortable in a black tie as he is jeans and flannel; having a passion for art, history and philanthropy, he regularly attends fundraising galas.'She should be down-to-earth, naturally pretty; someone who is comfortable without make-up in jeans, but can transition into an Alexander Mc Queen gown; knows how to do a place setting, but is comfortable with him skinning fresh fish.She will appreciate his strong beliefs in being a steward of the land and not be intimidated by wealth.'Slight problem number one: I am 44, and imagine lying is not the best way into a relationship. As I write, I am covered in bruises from a week in the Highlands with my outdoorsy brothers. My exercise routine involves wielding a mascara wand.Still more curiously, the individual I am being sized up by is a woman - not just any woman, but the world's leading matchmaker.'Love architect' Kailen Rosenberg has played Cupid to countless people looking for love during her 22 years in the business.The 48-year-old life coach and former model is media mogul Oprah Winfrey's favourite relationship expert and the go-to girl for every A-list couple in a crisis (although maddeningly she's tightlipped about who).
A study of gloves is actually a study of human conduct.