General dating getting an ex girlfriend back
Considering the situation as a whole, I think this is one where you can pass on referring her and feel okay about it.
I've dated countless women and it has always amazed me how little they know about men.
Is your interest in keeping your friendships and professional relationships Jane-free more important than her interest in being able to stay in the country? If the visa situation weren’t in play, I’d tell you that your former company isn’t the only one in the world where she can work and you don’t need to connect her to the one place where you’d rather she not be.
But the visa situation changes that a bit, as it makes her need more urgent.
Another factor in play is how often you see or talk to these former coworkers.
If you only talk to them once or twice a year, the impact on you of Jane working with them is going to be pretty limited.
In that case, you’re allowed to decide that no, you don’t want to disrupt those relationships (although again, the visa complicates it).
And depending on just how badly things go, it could still impact your reputation (and their interest in taking recommendations from you in the future).
In theory that shouldn’t happen because you’ll have been clear with them about the limits of your knowledge about her, but in reality people are going to associate you with the situation anyway.
In that case, you’d say something like, “I know you’re looking for people with a background in X.
I actually used to date someone with that experience, but I’ve never worked with her and I can’t vouch for her work.
Third, even in the “best case scenario” where she gets hired and its a great fit, I don’t know if I’m happy with that outcome.