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A number of years ago, a nationally syndicated cartoon ran the following comic strip. While his friend pays rapt attention, one of the men shares a recent personal revelation."If I had known what marriage was going to be like, I would have joined the debating team in high school." Hopefully for most people, marriage is not one long debate.Being deficient in even one of these skills can significantly limit what you and your spouse can achieve in your relationship.Being deficient in more than one of these skills can put any marriage at risk. EXPRESSING NEGATIVE FEELINGS CONSTRUCTIVELY "Negative feelings" refers to those feelings which we generally do not enjoy hearing from others.A less obvious, but not less common, example of ineffective communication is when one or both spouses feels misunderstood, unappreciated, disregarded or disrespected.When couples are not communicating effectively, when they are not getting most of their basic needs met in the marriage, I try to teach them one or more of the following four communication skills, which I believe are essential to success in marriage.
If, however, you express your negative feelings in an uncontrolled outburst of violent rage, the consequences for the rest of your family can be devastating.
This nervousness and thrill is par for the course—and trust me, you’ll miss it when it’s gone.
Truth is, there’s no avoiding the pain of a break-up.
Aaron is a good example of someone who never learned how to express negative feelings without attacking.
Whenever he was upset about something his wife Sarah did or said, he would lash out at her with such venom in his voice and rage on his face that she was terrified.
But there are times in every marriage when spouses feel that they are not communicating effectively with each other.