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Posted by / 16-Aug-2019 19:51

Gender variance and sexual orientation fluidity are expanding possibilities of self identification, relating and sexuality.Hence couples are discussing consensual non monogamy - open marriages, hookups with same or opposite sex people, cyber relationships and so on. Privacy is necessary so find the balance between the two.I was approached by Ashley Madison (AM) to do research.After they launched their controversial website in South Africa in July 2012, my therapy room filled up with women identifying as “happily married”, who had joined AM out of curiosity and to their huge surprise they were having so much fun chatting, cyberflirting and even meeting offline for IRL sex... My therapy room also filled up with couples who were caught out on AM or Grinder and were traumatized by the discovery.

This is helpful for people who struggle to be expressive face to face.

Social media has allowed us to discover facets of ourselves that were previously unknown.

IRL we are used to communicating verbally and with body language.

However, it is also a cop out as people tend to revert to this to manage conflict or difficult conversations.

What it does do however is allow much more personal disclosure and sexual freedom especially for women who are now in an unregulated space online due to the feeling of safety, intimacy and privacy one feels one has on one’s mobile, and due to the immediacy of the chats, something called “hyper personal” intimacy develops.

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I jumped at the opportunity to use the database of AM for research. And are the traditional values of commitment, sexual fidelity and monogamy still relevant in modern day relationships?

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  1. Interracial marriages increased from 2% of married couples in 1970 to 7% in 2005 According to a Pew Research Center analysis of census data conducted in 2013, 12% of newlyweds married someone of a different race.

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